blackfacegeneralisms: the teacher

Goats-cheese-squash-risotto-HERO-bae70525-17f9-42a1-b947-4d5d8e9ff730-0-472x310

Once, many years ago, at a family get together, I tried to demonstrate  the Higg’s Boson to my seven year old niece using an onion, a bouillon cube and a butternut squash.

Having witnessed first hand this monumental failure in human communication and comprehension, you might think it would have put me off teaching for life.

Of course, it didn’t. However, I haven’t made a risotto since.

Advertisements

lokum

turkish2

Rose is a tricky flavor to work with; it is usually applied in its distilled liquid form and a few drops is all you need. It overpowers quickly, consuming your palate and, if you’re not prudent, it can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Giddy, even.

The carriage is redolent with it’s scent. It’s particularly pungent for me because I’m next to the source.

She is sat, leaning forward, head bowed, over the flip down tray in front of her. Every thirty seconds or so, with a delicate flick of her little finger and a pinch of index and thumb, she hovers, selects and then delivers a nugget of Turkish delight to her impatient plump tongue; each gelatinous cube leaving a trace of icing sugar on her lips.

“Mmm.. I lo-ooo-ve pistachio…” she fires across my bow, before swilling her mouth with mineral water and smiling, a fragment of the aforementioned nut lodged resolutely in her front teeth.

Framed against the miserable grey suburbs rolling past the window, her beauty is illuminated.

Natural, unpretentious and laced with the merest promise of decay. Although, I notice her perfume is unpleasant; a strange, sour blend of spray tan and samosas.

Her hands are exquisite. The graceful lines of her wrists don’t disappoint, leading to slender, tapering fingers tipped with a burgundy polish.

Oddly, her every other anatomical feature possesses a most intriguing quality. In fact, one similar to the very confectionery she is consuming now. Turkish delight is always fashioned into slightly misshapen, bloated cubes and she, too, has this burgeoning, retentive design. It’s commensurate with her youth and her glucose consumption, I guess.

Her pert, full breasts strain against the cloth of her top, imprisoned against their will by a black lace bra.

They would release themselves, if they could, I know it, in a riot of common sense.

I journey to the lowlands, the prairie of the ego and begin a sojourn familiar to most males of a certain age when faced with young flesh; a place where time slows to a frame per second or less, where myriad fantasies gallop unfettered, like wild mustangs.

“Would you like one?” Again, the smile. The nut still presiding.

The house of cards tumbles down right on cue.

But I collect myself, shifting my weight in my seat to better face her.

“Yes. Yes, I would, thank you.” I say, smiling and managing to briefly lift my gaze, first to her eyes and then to the hexagonal box of rubbery nubs she’s wafting in front of me.

In a turn of events that I can’t truly remain blameless for, my hand reaches toward the box but skims over the sweets, diving purposefully between the light white cotton of her top and her warm soft skin. Soon, I feel the coarse webbing of her bra grating against the back of my fingers.

I don’t break her stare, her pupils dilate and her jaw slackens, moving almost imperceptibly up and down as I squeeze, her nipple hardening between my thumb and forefinger.

After just the right amount of time, I slowly remove my hand, returning it to my lap. We are still locked deeply, eye to eye.

She looks down and arranges her clothes in silence; time has slowed again, she is being deliberately deliberate, playing with me.

She places the box back on the tray. The elegant crane hovers again, eventually choosing and delivering a piece to me this time.

The soapy skin taste of her thumb works well, I think, supplying another dimension to the orange blossom flavor; she then slowly withdraws it, allowing me to suck clean the powdery residue. She feeds me a few more, delicately, in her measured way.

It’s a memorable experience, particularly fun. At one point, whilst demolishing a dusty lemon blob, she kisses me and for a moment I can’t tell what is sweet and what is tongue; the flavors intensifying with every laborious chew.

Together, we finish the box and sit for a while, licking our fingers and lips.

With a giggle, she lays her hand on my knee and leans in and whispers,
“Hi, I’m Rose.”

keep calm and carrion

Same time tomorrow, same time today,

Shuffling, agitated, slick.

No song. No silence. Claws in the gutter, like me,

But slimmer. It’s the black, I guess.

Purpose tilting from things that glint,

To cursory attempts at scrambled egg,

And aspiring most to perspiring toast,

Crumbs in the butter and porridge oats.

How cruel are the ties that bind us?

I can’t fly and he can’t hold a knife.

I tell him I don’t even fly in my dreams,

And he tells me not to worry,

It’s overrated,

And that he doesn’t like heights.

And that his nights are filled with kedgeree,

Muffins and gooseberry jam, fresh flaky croissants,

Dubious meats and cheesy treats on cross country flights,

Screaming hot churros with beak-bending choc,

Pillow pancakes and blanket crepes, Oeufs Hollandaise

And Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

I lean forward and nod knowingly,

And at the same time his head jerks forward in a fashion

That I assume to be reciprocal,

But probably isn’t.

And what can I say?

A lie won’t suffice, it won’t feed his kids and his wife,

So same time tomorrow, same time today.