new fears 1.3

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santaclaustrophobia – a fear of being stuck in an elevator with the big FC.

“Ho ho ho!”

“Get the fuck away from me, you hypertensive, silver-bearded harbinger of childhood joy/disappointment!”

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new fears 1.2

angoraphobia – a fear of going outside in a woollen cardigan

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“Oooh..God, no…nonononooo…it’s too warm and fluffy….i’m going back inside…”