oh, why can’t we just have sex?
you like me and i like you
so why can’t we just do it?
yes, right here in this bus stop
ok, well, maybe not here
but somewhere close by
in the very near future
why can’t that happen?
i don’t understand
no, i don’t want to talk any more
and coffee gives me gas
dinner? don’t push it, love
i just want to have it off with you
you know, in the old fashioned way
naked, just the two of us
no talking, only porking
a date? oh for fuck’s sake
the moment’s going, love
why can’t we just bang?
instead of holding hands
and me trying to make you laugh
and saying anything
literally, anything
to get your clothes off
things along the lines of
“yes, my favourite colour’s teal” and
“no, i want to take my time, too…”
do i shit!
all i want to do is hump you senseless
on the futon back at my flat
it would be great
we could do loooooads of jiggy jig
and then eat jaffa cakes
and watch Match of the Day
what do you say?
what do you mean you’ve got to go?
your bus is here?
the number eight?
brilliant, that’s near where i’m staying
we could bonk on the bus
if you’re running late
or on the steps of your house
if you really can’t wait
hey, don’t look at me like that
like i’m some dirty perv
only after one thing
what a nerve! As if!
is that what you think of me?
we’ve only just met
and all I can think of
is parting your legs?
that is pretty astute, to be fair
so, yeah…
is this going anywhere?
i didn’t think so
you made it quite clear
when you called the police
when i sniffed your hair
though, it’s not all bad
the cop shop’s right next to my gaff
i can walk home from there
blackfacegeneral 